Time for a…
… change?
Chaos has been the rule of the day (,week?, month??, year???).
I bought my girlfriend a Ducati Monster S2R 1000 for her birthday. That didn’t quite go as planned. After one ride on the bike, she has decided that she doesn’t want to ride anymore, which kind of sucks. A lot of things have lined up to for her to feel that way, so it isn’t the bike per say. It is the whole idea of riding, cornering, stopping, traffic, etc. I really don’t mind that she doesn’t want to ride anymore. If you want to ride, ride. If you don’t, then don’t. I’m fine either way. What bothers me is: 1) I didn’t clue into the fact that she was so much closer to not riding at all than to getting back on a bike and enjoying it. From the dicussions we have had over the last 6 months, I thought she was leaning toward getting back on bikes and working through the fears she has had since her last/first crash last year. She was thinking the opposite. Riding just isn’t worth the risk to her. I can accept that. And I know from my own experiences, that if you really don’t have a good feeling about an activity, only pain and fear await. 2) I spent a lot of money on something that neither of us want. Just getting the bike titled dropped over $3000 in value and the plate was already on the way before the bike was actually delivered. I can afford the bike, that’s not the point. The issue is that if I was going to spend $14.5k on a bike, I would have gotten something else. And truth be told, I should have spent the money on other things, not a bike!
So?
Obviously. I fucked up.
<shrug>
And what do I do now? I like the bike. There is no doubt about that. It is a beautiful machine, but it isn’t mine. I got it for her, not for me. I have two concerns at this point. If I ride the bike will I crash it or fall in love with it and never want to sell it? I have never had a sport bike with over 100 horse and the full race kit exhaust system has an incredible sound. Sitting behind the Ducati at a light, I could feel every pulse hitting me in the chest as I sat on top of the FJR. Wow. There was a Ducati event in town today. I should be over there with a for sale sign on the bike, but I very leary of getting on it because of the reasons I stated before: crash it /love it.
I am actually working to get rid of all of my bikes at the moment. I need to post the DL on craigslist. The girlfriend has decided to sell her SV and I working to get rid of the FJR as well. If we sell the Duc, along with everything else, then there will be no motorcycles in my garage. At least until I start to go insane. OK, I’m already insane but that’s not the point.
Work is work. I should be working right now, writing code to fix this whole plug-in issue and finish off this revision.
The vacation was good except the issue of the misguided birthday present. We ended up in San Fran for a couple nights after losing so cash in Nevada at the craps table and slot machines.
I think it is time ot tape up my fingers and play a little met’al on the drummy drums. Maybe that would help to unwind some of my current tension.
Later,
