You could piss off a rock.
So who have I pissed off lately? 
Who really cares? I’m me and if that doesn’t please you, close the door on your way out. I’m tired and generally irritated with other people’s bullshit and drama. I am not in a bad mood about anything in particular. Actually I’m unusually optimistic about my life in general. I know things are not going great, but it is my life and I will live it as I see fit. I will make it better soon enough. In short: if you don’t like the way I do things, fuck off.
Did I piss off any rocks yet?
Laura reminded me that other people do actually read my blog and infer more than I actually state. “Reading between the lines” and all of that. I know she is right but I don’t really care about it at the moment. Back in those dark days when I was getting divorced, I wrote out some things and after I got negative feedback I pulled my comments. Now, I don’t feel like removing something that I wrote just because it might hurt someone’s feelings or that someone might take it the wrong way. Fuck’em. I have never been a “nice” guy in that regard. I try to be considerate and not punish someone for their mistakes, but… wait for it… here is comes… wait for it… but you have to fucking own up to what you have done. I can stand people pussy-fucking-footing around whining and crying because life isn’t what they want when those same people will not lift a single fucking finger to make it what they want. I know I fucked up. I know I have debts to pay and I know I have hurt people. I also know that so long as I am breathing, I will exact a price from everyone and everything around me. I eat meat. I drive a truck that gets 12 mpg. I ride motorcycles in a fairly dangerous fashion. I drink Red Bull like there is no tomorrow. But guess what? I know, when the shit hits the fan, I will be the one to pay the cost for my actions. Just like when I paid $503 dollars in fines to wonderful Washington County for doing over 100mph in a 35 on the FJR. (It was near the mill as I entered a long lefthander, in the middle of nowhere and not in town. Link. I’m not that crazy!) I did it. I paid for it. Next?
Did I piss off anyone else?
I have a motto tattooed on my shoulder in Chinese calligraphy: live, learn, grow, tranquility. I have to live before I can learn anything. Learning leads to growth. Only through growth will I achieve the tranquility that I seek. Get it? So when I rail against friends, family, and enemies alike there is a reason why I do this. Writing these words out, the way I do in a staccato burst followed by months of silence, allows me to frame my own thoughts and to communicate across the void. I have to learn each and every day. I have to grow and become more. I have to shed the pain and frustrations of yesterday and work to become a better person. That is what I want most, to be a better man tomorrow than I was today.
So what else is there? I am alive. I have had friends die. I have lost parts of my own soul in this journey and honestly I really don’t give a fuck it you like me or not. I play nice when it suits me. I try not to be a dick on the days when being nice doesn’t suit me. But the fact remains, I could piss off a rock. I am ‘an arrogant fuck’ and stubborn and male and occasionally I am right.
To my friends:
I love you all. I hope you know that I will be there if you ever have need.
To those in the past:
I am sorry that things turned out the way they did. It always takes two to make any relationship work. Maybe it was you. Maybe it was me. Somewhere in the mix we parted company.
To my enemies:
Fuck off. I don’t care about your pain or suffering. There is more than enough in this world and I don’t care to waste my time dealing with your bullshit. Have a nice day.
To all the rest:
Enjoy the life you have created. It may be the only one you have.
Arbeit Macht Frei
