Editing
I have been asked about and accused of heavily editing this blog. The questions and accusations have come from various people in my life.
So?
Do I edit?
Of course I edit! Do you think I am that stupid? We ALL edit. I do not say everything that pops into my head. I do not do everything I want to do. I do not write everything that I could write about. I can honestly say that I edit everything I do. There are very, very few completely unguarded moments in my life. It is hard enough just surviving this thing call life. I just can’t imagine letting it all go. One of two obvious options appear before me. I would completely and irrevocably cross over and never regain any sembalence of sanity or I would transcend and become the man I truly wish to be. At this moment, in my life, I can’t take the risk of failing.
So. I edit. I hide. I ignore. I work to change myself, my perspective, my outlook on life. I go to my councilor’s office every other week and when I leave I am usually in a non-positive mood. I can be around some people but not others. At times, it seems like the people who are closest in the physical and emotional sense are the very people I can’t be around at that moment. So, I do what I can to avoid pointless negative confrontations.
The melatonin is starting to kick in, so I will shut this down.
