Dislocation of the soul
03:08 – I can’t sleep, again. My brain is buzzed from the afternoon Red Bull and a 14 hour day writing code. Tomorrow looks to be the same. Somewhere in there I stopped eating beyond a morning snack and lunch with the boys. I have a major project due on Friday. I don’t think it is going to be done, hence the series of late nights hovering over my keyboards.
Dislocation
Yeah. Do you ever have that feeling that your soul is 1/2 step out of sync with the rest of the world? I’m going through that right now. Maybe it is the antibiotics messing with my psyche. It happens. Some antibiotics totally whack my brain. I become unpleasant and harmful to myself and others, to put it mildly. This dislocation has been creeping up on me. I feel out of sync with reality, with my life and those in it. My friends are slightly out of focus. The woman is distant. All this happens around me while I remain generally mute and disassociative. I just don’t feel like verbalizing. If I could sleep, I wouldn’t even be sitting here typing out this nonsense. I’d be snoozing, dreaming about my next software solution. All I want right now is 500 miles in the saddle, crappy late night breakfast food and a strange bed to sleep in. If you read between the lines, sensory overload and total exhaustion are precursors to the sleep cycle.
In short, I am definitely confused about a great many things in my life right now. ERGO: My feeling of dislocation.
I have been reading Gibson again, Pattern Recognition. He verbiage always makes my mind dance. I love how he strings together phrasings. One that particularly caught my eye was “event horizon.” It wasn’t applied to astrophysics, so it stuck in the fissures of my brain. Can you tell?
03:31 – Maybe I can sleep now. If not, then I will putter around for a bit, slam a couple Red Bull and head into work. I have code to write after all.
